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Horse talk - the things we say

April 02, 2019

Admit it, us horse owners, riders, lovers of everything horse related often have some unusual conversations amongst ourselves We can say things that non-horsey people might find a bit strange, odd or just disgusting. We think it's totally normal to discuss our horses' poo or pee for example.


We are not afraid to embarrass our friends in public. "Did your boy shat himself, there's poo all over his bum haha". Or the topic of diarrhea:" Hey Kim, I think your mare might have the runs, her tail is full of sh*t!". Did you know our non-horsey friends find this poo talk a bit embarrassing?


And don't even try to talk about horse pee. Experienced horse owners learn to be aware of subtle changes in our horses' habits and behaviours. So we are constantly observing our horse, and yes that includes poking a stick in poo to check for worms or watching our horse pee and checking the colour. And sometimes you just have to yell out to your friend "Your horse is peeing and it stinks" because that's what friends do.

Vet bills or other expenses

Here's something else to watch out for, especially when surrounded by non-horsey friends, relatives or worse, your partner. Do not talk about your recent purchases and how much you spend on your horse. You will leave them in shock! Relatives will fear for your bankruptcy, friends will think you are rich and expect you to keep shouting drinks. A new romantic partner might run for the hills, while a long-term partner will think twice before opening a joint account. Really, we horse owners know a vet bill is unavoidable and matchy matchy sets are priceless. But keep it to yourself.

Grooming (a gelding)

Grooming. It seems like such an innocent topic. Until you talk about wiping a snotty nose, brushing dried up poo out of tails or a shaft clean for your gelding. Talking from experience, when you own a gelding sometimes you have to clean his male bits. I once made the mistake of telling my friends it needs cleaning, as smegma can build up and it becomes smelly if you don't. The looks of horror on their faces their faces did make me realise I made a mistake. Of course, I was also the victim of many unwanted jokes after that comment.

So, lesson learned. We are a special breed, us horse lovers. We are tough, strong, passionate about what we do and have a strong knit community of people who understand us. Hopefully this article will help keep our non-horsey friends, relatives and partners happy too.

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